Fathers

Colossians 3

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If then you were raised together with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated on the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, our life, is revealed, then you will also be revealed with him in glory. Put to death therefore your members which are on the earth: sexual immorality, uncleanness, depraved passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. For these things’ sake the wrath of God comes on the children of disobedience. You also once walked in those, when you lived in them; but now you also put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and shameful speaking out of your mouth. Don’t lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old man with his doings, and have put on the new man, who is being renewed in knowledge after the image of his Creator, where there can’t be Greek and Jew, circumcision and uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, bondservant, or free person; but Christ is all, and in all. Put on therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do. Above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body, and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your heart to the Lord. Whatever you do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father, through him. Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, don’t provoke your children, so that they won’t be discouraged. Servants, obey in all things those who are your masters according to the flesh, not just when they are looking, as men pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will receive again for the wrong that he has done, and there is no partiality.

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What the Fathers say

Colossians 3:19

Eastern Fathers

John Chrysostom

See how again he has exhorted to reciprocity. As in the other case he enjoineth fear and love, so also doth he here. For it is possible for one who loves even, to be bitter. What he saith then is this. Fight not; for nothing is more bitter than this fighting, when it takes place on the part of the husband toward the wife. For the fightings which happen between beloved persons, these are bitter; and he shows that it ariseth from great bitterness, when, saith he, any one is at variance with his own member. …

Homily on Colossians 10 ↗

Theophylact of Ohrid

See how he impresses upon each sex what is proper to it: upon wives — submission, upon husbands — love. For love is not so much required from the subordinate toward the superior as from the superior toward the subordinate. The wife, because she is loved, herself reciprocates with love in return. But when she submits to her husband, she renders him what is due. …

Commentary on Colossians ↗

Western Saints

Augustine of Hippo

God forbid that a man who possesses faith should, when he hears the apostle bid men "love their wives," love that carnal concupiscence in his wife which he ought not to love even in himself; as he may know, if he listens to the words of another apostle: "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is, in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. …

On Marriage and Concupiscence, Book 1 ↗

Thomas Aquinas

Then, he instructs husbands to love their wives, husbands, love your wives; because this is natural, since a husband and wife are in a certain sense one: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church" (Eph 5:25). He forbids them to be bitter: "She who is bitter becomes weak in doing good" (Mic 1:12), "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice" (Eph 4:31).

Commentary on Colossians ↗