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What the Fathers say
Eastern Fathers
John Chrysostom
Because we do not so deeply touch the souls of those who have wronged us by revenging ourselves, as by pardoning them, and thus shaming them and putting them out of countenance. For by the other course we shall be doing no good, either to ourselves or to them, but shall be doing harm to both by seeking ourselves for retaliation, like the rulers of the Jews, and by kindling up the wrath that is in them; but if we return injustice with gentleness, we shall disarm all his anger, and shall be setting up in his breast a tribunal which …
Theophylact of Ohrid
Since it is not enough merely to refrain from evil in order to obtain the Kingdom, but one must also do good (for if we neglect doing good, we fall into Gehenna, even if we have done no evil, as is evident from many places in the Gospel (Matt. 3:10)), therefore Paul, rejecting what is bad, inclines us toward doing good and says: "be kind," in opposition to anger; "compassionate," in opposition to cruelty; "forgiving one another," that is, be lenient and forgive those who sin against you, in opposition to malice and slander. …
Western Saints
Jerome
Paul wants us to be gentle, approachable people, people who have left anger, bitterness, wrath and slander behind. If we are merciful and serene, taking the initiative in reaching out to others, our very approachability will overcome the shyness and fear of those for whom we reach out.
Thomas Aquinas
Next, when he says be ye kind one to another he determines what pertains to the new man which is contrary to the above mentioned passions. Opposed to bitterness is kindness; so he says be ye kind one to another since "the spirit of wisdom is benevolent" (Wis. 1:6). Mercy is contrary to anger, thus he mentions merciful: "Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful" (Lk. 6:36). Opposed to indignation is a pardoning attitude; whence he says forgiving one another even as God hath forgiven you in Christ. …
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