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What the Fathers say
Eastern Fathers
John Chrysostom
Lo! again here also is subjection and love. And he said not, "Love your children," for it had been superfluous, seeing that nature itself constraineth to this; but what needed correction he corrected; that the love should in this case also be the more vehement, because that the obedience is greater. For it nowhere lays down as an exemplification the relation of husband and wife; but what? hear the prophet saying, "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitied them that fear Him" (Ps. ciii. …
Theophylact of Ohrid
That is, do not pursue with bitterness everything they do. Some things must be overlooked without attention, so as not to make them contradictory and not to subject them to despondency. See what wisdom; how he inclines the heart of parents, and how he draws their inward parts, saying: "lest they become discouraged." For the entire concern of fathers is that their children not become discouraged.
Western Saints
Ambrose of Milan
We have here the message of the Scriptures which declares: "Children, love your fathers; parents, do not provoke your children to anger." Nature has implanted in beasts the instinct to love their own brood and hold dear their own progeny. But the beasts know nothing of relationsinlaw. Here, parents do not become estranged from their offspring by the act of changing their mates. They know nothing of preferences given to children of a later union to the neglect of those of a former marriage. …
Gregory the Dialogist
Differently to be admonished are subjects and prelates: the former that subjection crush them not, the latter that superior place elate them not: the former that they fail not to fulfil what is commanded them, the latter that they command not more to be fulfilled than is just: the former that they submit humbly, the latter that they preside temperately. …
Thomas Aquinas
Then when Paul says, fathers, do not provoke your children, he instructs parents: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger" (Eph 6:4). They should not do this lest they become discouraged, that is, faint-hearted. Paul gives this advice because adults keep the impressions they have had as children. And it is natural for those raised in slavery to be always faint-hearted. …
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