John Chrysostom

See how again he has exhorted to reciprocity. As in the other case he enjoineth fear and love, so also doth he here. For it is possible for one who loves even, to be bitter. What he saith then is this. Fight not; for nothing is more bitter than this fighting, when it takes place on the part of the husband toward the wife. For the fightings which happen between beloved persons, these are bitter; and he shows that it ariseth from great bitterness, when, saith he, any one is at variance with his own member. …

Homily on Colossians 10 ↗

Theophylact of Ohrid

See how he impresses upon each sex what is proper to it: upon wives — submission, upon husbands — love. For love is not so much required from the subordinate toward the superior as from the superior toward the subordinate. The wife, because she is loved, herself reciprocates with love in return. But when she submits to her husband, she renders him what is due. …

Commentary on Colossians ↗

Augustine of Hippo

God forbid that a man who possesses faith should, when he hears the apostle bid men "love their wives," love that carnal concupiscence in his wife which he ought not to love even in himself; as he may know, if he listens to the words of another apostle: "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is, in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. …

On Marriage and Concupiscence, Book 1 ↗

Thomas Aquinas

Then, he instructs husbands to love their wives, husbands, love your wives; because this is natural, since a husband and wife are in a certain sense one: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church" (Eph 5:25). He forbids them to be bitter: "She who is bitter becomes weak in doing good" (Mic 1:12), "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice" (Eph 4:31).

Commentary on Colossians ↗