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What the Fathers say
Eastern Fathers
John Chrysostom
As a man in forming a body, places the head first, after that the neck, then the feet, so does the blessed Paul proceed in his discourse. He has spoken of the husband, he has spoken of the wife, who is second in authority, he now goes on by gradual advances to the third rank-which is that of children. For the husband has authority over the wife, and the husband and the wife over the children. …
Theophylact of Ohrid
As a sculptor, reproducing the figure of the human body, first creates the head, then the neck, and finally the legs, so too Paul, having spoken of the husband as the first principle, and the wife as the second principle, now speaks of the third principle — children. For over the wife one husband has authority, but over children the wife also has authority. So "obey," he says, "your parents," but "in the Lord," that is, when their commands are in agreement with the law of the Lord. …
Ignatius of Antioch
Let the husbands love their wives, remembering that, at the creation, one woman, and not many, was given to one man. Let the wives honour their husbands, as their own flesh; and let them not presume to address them by their names. Let them also be chaste, reckoning their husbands as their only partners, to whom indeed they have been united according to the will of God. Ye parents, impart a holy training to your children. Ye children, "honour your parents, that it may be well with you."
Western Saints
Jerome
It is not clear whether this saying means that children are to obey their "parents in the Lord" or that in the Lord children are to obey their parents. I take it both ways. We are to obey those parents who gave birth to us in the Lord, as through Paul and the apostles they were spiritually born, and do what they say. And we should submit in the Lord to our own parents, from whom we were born according to the flesh, performing all their commands that are not contrary to the Lord's will.
Thomas Aquinas
He had previously given advice to husband and wife which is one relationship in the family (5:22). Now he cautions the fathers and children, which is the home's second relationship. He begins, Children, obey your parents. Note here that fathers have a natural duty to instruct their children in moral conduct. The children, on the other hand, have a natural duty, while their parents are instructing them, to be obedient to them—as the sick are to obey doctors. Hence the proper characteristic of children is obedience. …
Bonaventure
Since the law of grace considers the origin, fall, and remedy of nature, it belongs to it to approve the threefold mode and distinction of obedience. For it approves filial obedience, Ephesians 6: Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is just. Fatherhood and sonship are most consonant with natural law: therefore also that children obey parents; and this is done through the service of obedience.
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