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What the Fathers say
Eastern Fathers
John Chrysostom
"In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves." For he that teaches must be especially careful to do it with meekness. For a soul that wishes to learn cannot gain any useful instruction from harshness and contention. For when it would apply, being thus thrown into perplexity, it will learn nothing. He who would gain any useful knowledge ought above all things to be well disposed towards his teacher, and if this be not previously attained, nothing that is requisite or useful can be accomplished. …
Theophylact of Ohrid
With strictness and scolding the soul cannot absorb anything useful. For he who wishes to learn something useful must first of all be well-disposed toward the teacher. But how can one be well-disposed toward a person who is angry and scolds? Why then does the apostle say: "reject a heretic after a first and second admonition"? There he speaks of an incorrigible person, one who is known to be incurably ill; but here the discussion is not about those who are already incurable, as is evident from what follows. …
Oecumenius
Correcting challengers with gentleness, in the hope that God may grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the Devil's snare, having been captured by him to do his will. correcting challengers with gentleness. For this is most necessary. For often he who has been given advice ten times and has not listened will obey another who gives advice once, clearly the first ten counselors are working against their own interest. that God may grant them repentance. …
Western Saints
Augustine of Hippo
But then in the correction and repression of other men's sins, one must take heed that in rebuking another he does not lift up himself. The sentence of the apostle must be remembered: "Let one who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall." Let the voice of chiding sound outwardly in tones of terror, let the spirit of love and gentleness be maintained within.… So then you must neither consent to evil, so as to approve of it, nor be negligent, so as not to reprove it, nor be proud, so as to reprove it in a tone of insult.
Thomas Aquinas
With modesty admonishing those who resist the truth: because one who admonishes should be moderate: you who are spiritual, instruct such a one in the spirit of meekness (Gal 6:1). If peradventure God may give them repentance: he gives the reason why he should avoid these things, and he answers a tacit question. For someone could say: they resist the truth and should be corrected. I answer that God the Father is able to lead them to repentance, which is something for which a just man should strive. …
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