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What the Fathers say
Eastern Fathers
John Chrysostom
"For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears, not that ye should be made sorry, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you." What more tenderly affectioned than this man's spirit is? for he showeth himself to have been not less pained than they who had sinned, but even much more. …
Theophylact of Ohrid
Since he said above that he rejoices when they grieve, lest they say: you endeavor to sadden us so that you yourself may rejoice, he explains that he himself grieves greatly, grieves more than the sinners themselves. Not from sorrow only, but "from great sorrow," and not with tears only, but "with many tears" I wrote. …
Western Saints
Thomas Aquinas
But because someone might be in doubt at his saying, so that when I came I might not suffer pain, and ask what sort of pain he had for them, he explains this saying, for I wrote you out of much affliction and anguish of heart. In regard to this he does two things: first, he mentions the pain he has already suffered; secondly, he answers a tacit question (v. 4b). …
Translation