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What the Fathers say
Eastern Fathers
John Chrysostom
What then can this mean? "Let not the wife," says he, "exercise continence, if the husband be unwilling; nor yet the husband without the wife's consent." Why so? Because great evils spring from this sort of continence. For adulteries and fornications and the ruin of families have often arisen from hence. For if when men have their own wives they commit fornication, much more if you defraud them of this consolation. …
Theophylact of Ohrid
He explains what his expression "for a time" means, that is, when the time comes to devote oneself to prayer, that is, to pray with particular fervor. For he did not simply say: for prayer, but: "for devotion to prayer." Indeed, if the apostle found in marital cohabitation an obstacle to ordinary daily prayer, how could he have said elsewhere: "pray without ceasing" (1 Thess. 5:17)? …
Irenaeus
The Lord also showed that certain precepts were enacted for them by Moses, on account of their hardness [of heart], and because of their unwillingness to be obedient, when, on their saying to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a writing of divorcement, and to send away a wife?" He said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts he permitted these things to you; but from the beginning it was not so;" thus exculpating Moses as a faithful servant, but acknowledging one God, who from the beginning made male and female, and …
Western Saints
Augustine of Hippo
According to this, if he had wished to practice continence but you had not, he would have been obliged to give in to you, and God would have given him credit for continence for not refusing intercourse out of consideration for your weakness, not his own, in order to prevent you from committing adultery. …
Thomas Aquinas
Then when he says, do not refuse [defraud] one another, he deals with postponing the debt to be rendered. First, he shows how the conjugal act should be postponed. In regard to this he teaches that one thing must be avoided, saying: do not refuse [defraud] one another, so that, for example, the husband wishes to abstain when the wife does not, or even conversely. …
Bonaventure
To that objection that the act of marriage is by way of indulgence: it must be said that this is not said of marriage itself and of the nuptial act that is performed for the procreation of children, but of that which is performed for the restraining of incontinence, because this has venial fault joined to it. Hence Augustine, in the book On the Good of Marriage: "If you have taken a wife, you have not sinned: and if a virgin marries, she does not sin. …
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