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What the Fathers say
Western Saints
Augustine of Hippo
"More trustworthy are the wounds of a friend than the proffered kisses of an enemy." Let us, then, with all the insistence we can put into it, impress this upon our dearest friends, those who are most sincerely interested in our work, and let them know that it is possible between dear friends for something to be objected to in the speech of either, without charity being thereby diminished, without truth begetting hatred. …
Ambrose of Milan
Rebukes are good, and often better than a silent friendship. Even if a friend thinks himself hurt, still rebuke him; and if the bitterness of the correction wounds his mind, still rebuke him and fear not. "The wounds of a friend are better than the kisses of flatterers." Rebuke, then, your erring friend; forsake not an innocent one. For friendship ought to be steadfast and to rest firm in true affection.
Bede
Better are the wounds of a friend, etc. It is better to endure wounds and affliction from the Lord, who as a father instructs us as children, than to be deceived by the flattery of the devil, who, to deprive us of our heavenly inheritance, is accustomed to favor our errors, as if what we do is a light evil, and the tribulation we endure beyond the measure of our sins is inflicted by the Lord's discretion.
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