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What the Fathers say
Eastern Fathers
John Chrysostom
Observe how cautious he is, lest any of the things which were spoken even from exceeding love should so strike the hearer, as that he should be hurt. For this reason before he says, "to enjoin thee," since it was offensive, although, as spoken out of love, it was more proper to soothe him, yet nevertheless from an excess of delicacy, he as it were corrects it by saying, "Having confidence," by which he implies that Philemon was a great man, that is "Thou hast given confidence to us." And not only that, but adding the expression "in …
Theophylact of Ohrid
Since, he says, you are such toward all the saints, that their hearts are refreshed by you, all the more I in Christ, that is, as having begotten you in Christ, I had boldness to command you, not as your master, but out of the love which I have for you and you for me. …
Ignatius of Antioch
I do not issue orders to you, as if I were some great person. For though I am bound for the name [of Christ], I am not yet perfect in Jesus Christ. For now I begin to be a disciple, and I speak to you as fellow-disciples with me. For it was needful for me to have been stirred up by you in faith, exhortation, patience, and long-suffering. But inasmuch as love suffers me not to be silent in regard to you, I have therefore taken upon me first to exhort you that ye would all run together in accordance with the will of God. …
Western Saints
Jerome
I am writing to you because of the confidence I have in Christ Jesus, commanding you to do what is proper for the sake of love. I urge you even more, as one such as Paul, an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus. With many praises given to Philemon before him, considering the matter at hand, which would be both excellent and helpful to the requester, Paul was able to command rather than request. …
Thomas Aquinas
Then when he says For this reason, he makes his plea. And first he states the confidence with which he asks; second, the petition itself, I plead with you...; third, his reason, Perhaps, indeed... He says, For this reason, that is, because you so abound in charity, I have great trust in Christ Jesus, as if to say, not from me, but from the authority of Jesus Christ, in which faith I gave birth to you. Therefore, I could command you as a father both concerning your own and common matters. …
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